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Community Answers
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Long Islander's post in Strange Ignition Problem was marked as the answer
Changing the ignition lock assembly seems to be at least a 4 hour job, and the part is around $250. The dealer quoted me $1000 cost to do this, and it seems complicated enough that I don't want to try doing it myself. I spoke with an independent Porsche specialty shop and he said he's replaced dozens of ignition electrical switches (the $10-$30 part) and has never had to replace the ignition lock assembly afterward because this took care of the problem. He thought my issue would be fixed with just the electrical switch.
So, based on that, I ordered the Audi OEM version of the electrical switch (Porsche doesn't sell this anymore, but the Audi and Porsche parts are the same), and I'll replace it myself. This is supposed to take less than an hour, so it's a low-risk gamble to save +/- $1000.
I'll keep you posted.
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Long Islander's post in Key head halves won't snap together was marked as the answer
I finally got it to snap back together. The circuit board was positioned correctly. The notches ensure that it is either in or not. Also, you can't put it in upside down.
So, how did I do it?
I think all the pieces just had to sit out in the open at room temperature and humidity for a couple of days after sitting in the safe for the last 12 years (that's when I bought the fireproof safe and where I keep my extra keys). It's a fireproof safe and I keep a lot of silica gel packets in there, so there is very little moisture. Perhaps that caused the plastic pieces to shrink a little. All's well now.
Another bit of trivia about the remote key. If you're not in range of the car, the red light won't blink. Go figure.